It's been a minute and so much has happened this last month of summer that I need to try to capture in a post. Right now I am feeling totally overwhelmed. About a month an a half ago, I thought it would be a good idea to schedule simultaneous well child visits for two of my children. In the meantime, another child had an issue and I added on a third appointment to the already stacked schedule. Well today was reckoning day. I had two well child visits and one sick visit. Really no biggie when you think about it. I am not the first mom to do this.
My issue is this: I left the appointment with about 8 different referrals, three huge packets of material to read and another gazillion thoughts in my head about what I coulda-shoulda-woulda done differently.
I know others know the feeling...After leaving the doctor's office, I feel like when the hell do I have time to simultaneously, wean my 11 month old, introduce more solids and table foods, read 20 minutes each night to all four of my children, practice with my 3 year old answering the question if he is a boy or a girl, which letter is bigger or smaller and oh a little thing called POTTY TRAINING. Then there is the worrying about the neurology consult or maybe the cardiology consult, oh no wait, the chipped tooth that is discolored, or the constant disrupted sleep, incessant coughing, nail biting, eating too much of this and not enough of that...I could go on, but I am feeling myself get overwhelmed just typing.
Okay moms, really? Like when do we breathe? Can I sit on my ass and maybe talk to my husband-EVER? We are both running around with books, flashcards, trying to address all these needs in time for the next well child visit. I can barely answer the phone when it rings in my house let alone find time to sit and read like Mary Poppins to all four of my children. Now I remember a time (feels like remembering my wedding day or early years of marriage) when we could read quietly to one child and work quietly with another. Just like the years of sleeping until 10 am (shit I will take an 8 am wake up call) those were the good old days and are sadly gone for now. How do we meet all these needs? I know it all gets done. Right now I am just feeling overwhelmed (because I am tired and when I am tired, everything is doom and gloom to me). Tomorrow will be a new day and I will forge ahead with renewed energy like always...But I'm not there now.
Right now I'm still in the "really, who the hell thought all this shit was doable?!?!" phase. I don't remember my folks doing half of what I do and I don't remember having to go for a neurological consult or a cardiology consult or any other type of consult. Just the good old pediatrician who took your height and weight and gave you a dreaded vaccine every now and then. That's it. No trick questions. No guilt. No feelings to overwhelm.
I need a parent consult to deal with all this mess. Got anything for me?
I can only imagine how you feel as I feel overwhelmed with my two and I don't have a full time job! My brain is toast.
ReplyDelete1. so sorry there is even a need for specialists and referrals. Sending all of my good thoughts that things even out soon on that front.
2. I don't think we *can* do it all. Something has to give. Can olders do the reading to the youngers? things like that. But the main thing is to remember the idea of good enough mothering. Kids get by with good enough. And you are doing more than good enough. I was telling someone how when I was 8-10 we'd spend time with friends and my grandmother would hang out with her friends and we kids would be left on our own all night. We'd play games, run around the house, watch saturday night live and put ourselves to bed when it was over. We would never do that for our kids now- but I turned out better than fine that way. It may have made me more independant. I'm not suggesting that at all- just the perspective- you do your best. the most important thing is to have moments like the one in your banner pic as often as possible. B/c that is pure wonderful family love right there and that is all kids need in my humble opinion.
Thanks V! You know the sun came up and my mood lifted as it always does. I even laughed at my rant because although all of this is overwhelming, it's a place I have been before (just not with 4) but as my mother always tells me this is only a season and the children grow up quickly. I appreciate your comments and you are so right. I can remember having time as a child that was not planned or otherwise occupied and those were some of the most creative and memorable times. My children are learning that mom and dad need their time and they can occupy themselves with books and games. My hubby and I just talked about having the older ones read to the little ones, so great minds think alike. I'll let you know how it goes. Also, one cardiology appointment down and all is normal. Yay!
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